Salto Mortale – Leap into the Void

As I laid on my back facing the ceiling of the maloca, my legs whipped back and forth under my brown tweed blanket. Across the room, a friend, deep in their own journey, caught a glimpse of me — an upside down turtle stuck on its shell, desperately trying to gain its footing.

***

Abstract painting with bold brushstrokes in blue, yellow, and red.

The pandemic and the unexpected death of a co-worker had caused a seismic shift in my perspective. The tragic and sudden loss was a wake-up call that life was too short to live miserably. I realized nothing would change unless I changed it myself. I set out on a journey to find what was missing in my life. 

Abstract painting with red, black, and yellow brushstrokes
Abstract painting with red, yellow, black, and white brushstrokes

After months of writing music and meditating, a calling to sit in spiritual retreat in the jungle of Central America overtook me. I didn’t know why, but I knew I had to answer.

Abstract painting with vibrant colors including blue, green, red, and yellow, featuring textured brush strokes and paint splatters.
Abstract painting with blue, green, pink, and yellow brushstrokes.
Abstract painting with blue and red hues, featuring vertical brush strokes and textured patterns.
Abstract painting with blue, pink, and yellow brushstrokes, featuring vertical lines and textured patterns.

Sawubona – I See You

In the jungle, I found a place within myself I’d only touched briefly before through deep mediation — the place where the illusion of separation melts away, where the voice within is clear and cuts through the noise of day-to-day life. The place where the arbitrary walls I’d built to protect my egoic sense of self crumbled through my fingers like desert clay.

Abstract art with blue, green, and orange paint streaks.
Abstract painting with flowing streaks of red, green, and blue colors.
Abstract painting with yellow, green, red, and black colors.
Abstract painting with red, blue, black, and green textures
Abstract painting with blue, orange, black, and green vertical streaks

Ngikhona – I am Here  

Through months of meditation, a new discipline set in. A discipline of connecting deeply with myself and with others, a discipline in which the ego would take a back seat and the art that was ready to travel through me would no longer play second fiddle. I would answer the call no matter where it took me and trust the intuitive guidance that had never let me down. 

Abstract painting with bold strokes of red, blue, yellow, and green.
Abstract painting with bold, swirling colors including yellow, red, green, and blue, creating a dynamic, energetic composition.

I got back to work - toiling in the studio for hours on end through the nights. Days turned into months and months turned into years as I dove deeper into the endless abyss. A meditation master’s words rang like a mantra:

The bad news is, you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute.

The good news is, there is no ground.

Abstract art with blue, pink, and yellow splatters on canvas
Abstract painting with blue background, featuring splashes of white, pink, black, and yellow paint, with circular shapes and dynamic brush strokes.
Abstract painting with blue background, white and black circular shapes, and splashes of orange, pink, and white paint.

In that void I found voice and expression. I finally understood what Rumi meant when he said you are not a drop in the ocean, you are the ocean in a drop.

Abstract painting with bold red, blue, and yellow brushstrokes.

And, finally, I felt like I’d rocked off my shell, back onto my feet.

***

Meditation Mondays

Every Monday, I send out “Meditation Mondays” – short emails with thoughts and quotes that are inspiring me.

The goal of each Mediation Monday is to share these ideas with you in the hopes that you’ll find some inspiration in them as well. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest behind.